Let the games begin

Just an average Friday

So, the sports committee (which, yours truly is a member of) planned a school wide soccer tournament for this Friday and Saturday. I don’t know what exactly I was expecting (lie. I was expecting it to start 3 hours late and for half of the people not to show up), but I LOVED it. As soon as the morning assembly was over, 2nd year students started their games. I had to teach an English class first, but when I made it over to the field it was, what can only be described as, madness. Someone had brought speakers, so techno music was blaring (typical Mozambique….although the techno remix of “its raining men” was a new addition) as kids played on the dirt field. Obviously, this is not the kind of thing that gets uniforms – so half of the boys had their shirts flipped over their heads.

Let me take this time to comment on Mozambican fashion…. Most of the clothes people here wear are cast offs from America. So when some random church collects clothes to send to the poor kids in Africa … this is where they come. ALSO. There is absolutely zero gender issues with cloths. So you’re a 16 year old boy and you want to wear a lavender baby-tee that says “Greek goddess”? Go for it. You’re a first year auto mechanic student and you have a hot pink Barbie backpack? No shame. Feel like wearing swim trunks? Do it. Pokeman tank top (why?)? Put it on. Also lacking in the way of equipment : shoes. About half of the kids played barefoot. Some wore just socks…a (very) few had real shoes. My personal favorites were the kids who wore totally barefoot EXCEPT for one shoe (that one hot pink high top converse is totally helping). Meanwhile, the kids who had already lost (cough cough all of the carpenters) were posted up at the speakers just dancing their little hearts out. Add this to the list of things I love about these kids: all of a sudden, some part of a song will get to a kid and he just can’t fight the urge to dance. It’s like lightning. You’ll just see a crowd of kids standing around talking and then BAM one of them is just going nuts. It happened to one of my favorite first year students while he was playing today… apparently his techno jam came on and he just completely stopped playing to have a little dance break. And let me tell you, these people can moveeee. They are putting every goofy white-person dance to shame! I’ll video it some time so yall can see it, because seriously, its incredible.

I hope you’re getting an idea of what kind of sports fan I am – seeing as I have described everything BUT the actual sporting event. Honestly, I was really impressed with all of my students. They are incredible athletes and they were so into the games – plus, it was great team building for the turmas. So I cheered for all of my kids, who would run off the field and want to wave at me (so.cute.).

I “breakfasted” with some of my first year kids. They made me wash my hands and then presented me with about 7 packed Tupperware containers of homemade Mozambican food which they insisted I eat (no complaints there). I fielded an endless number of “teacher I want to visit your house in Moatize,” (tell me when you’re coming) “teacher do you know lil wayne,” (I’ve already told you, no) and “teacher tomorrow you will play with us?” (apparently yes).

After I had a Fanta with some professors, I was given very explicit instruction to return at 7 am on Saturday to play in the Meninas game (don’t worry, I saw them play today…I’ll be fine). Side note; I’m SO proud of my girls. There are only about 30 girls at our school and they’re really holding their own. I’m just thrilled they’re here and still in school. So if I can make a fool out of myself and play soccer with them – just to let them know that they can do it too…done and done.

T.T.I. (Travel, Teaching & Illness)

I’m blaming travel, teaching and illness for not posting sooner. BUT. Since you last heard from me, here’s what’s been going on….

- I had a draft beer for the first time since September…thank you Sundowners and all of the South African ex-pats who also like cold draft beer.
- I had an amazingggg time in Chimoio (a city about 6 hours south of Tete) with all of the Central PCVs. There were about 25 of us there, which translates into – we did some hardcore crashing on the floors of volunteers houses. Chimoio is like a real city – it has different kinds of restaurants and bars. Saturday night, we had a scavenger hunt at a few bars in town where we took pictures and videos of things like “teaching the bartender how to make an American cocktail” or “a Mozambican defining a scientific term”….”the entire team in the air” …. You get the picture (HA). The entire thing culminated in a dance party at a bar which we fondly refer to as Rainforest Café – because…well… the two places are strikingly similar.
- We had our first real “boleia” experience getting back to Tete (boleia-ing is essentially like hitch-hiking…. Now, before you freak out (mom), this is a common and generally accepted form of travel here. There aren’t that many cars here as it is – so sometimes you just have to stick out you little hand and ask for a ride). Anyways, one back of a pick-up, one semi, 3 chapas and 12 hours later we made it back to Tete. Lessons learned here: wear sunscreen, there is not much traffic on Sunday, travel lightly….absolutely not recommended in a “post bar scavenger” hunt state.
- I taught my first class….well…. technically I missed my very first class (my school changed the schedule without telling me) but regardless, real teaching has begun!!
- I am now part of the athletics committee at my school. Totally serious. Me and the other young, athletic male professors are the committee. I, apparently, am there for the meninas (girls) and have now been roped into refereeing a school wide soccer tournament.
- I got crazyyy sick. Let me tell you, dysentery is not something to mess with! Any disease that kills players on “Oregon trail” should be avoided. Bottom line, I didn’t/couldn’t get out of bed for about 48 hours (accept, of course, to run to the bathroom…..thank GOD for the our relatively civilized housing situation. Oh, and Helen. Thank God for Helen). On day three, I started on antibiotics, which allowed me to eat something and take a bath, but did not stop me from sleeping approximately 20 hours a day. I’m feeling much better now, btw!

Goooood Mo-ning Tea-cha

So since the first two weeks of school are designated for hard-core Portuguese and Math classes, Helen and I haven’t had much to do (shocking, right?).  Basically, the students only have those two classes everyday so that everyone is pretty much on the same page. This is especially important for the 1^st year kids because they’re coming from lots of different school. And the ones that are having trouble (can’t read, can’t add, etc) will get extra help in the afternoons once normal school starts. So theoretically, this is an awesome plan.

At first, our ped director wanted us to teach some of the math classes….but then, thankfully, he decided that we could just sit in on some of the classes and observe slash work on our Portuguese.  So that’s what we’ve been doing for the past two weeks – attending classes with out students. Plus, we’ve been able to scope out the classes that we’re actually teaching and get to know the kids.  Actually, the boys are hilarious when we walk in. In Mozambique, when a professor enters the room all of the students stand up and say “Bom dia professora” … or if it’s an English class “Good morning teacher.”  So when we try to sneak into a class and sit in the back row to watch, they get flustered and don’t know whether they should address us in Portuguese or English and then there’s a mad dash to find chairs for us. Which generally results in 3 or 4 boys jumping up and yelling at us to come sit in their chair.

So all in all, a pretty laid back week. Can’t complain though!

Oh I almost forgot this. One of the young professors came up to me today and told me that I needed to go to a meeting this morning because I’m on the athletic committee for the school. SO now I’m helping to organize a soccer/basketball tournament, which will serve as a makeshift try-out for the real teams.  And I will eventually be roped into coaching the girls soccer or basketball team. I’m literally praying its soccer…not because I’m good at soccer, but because I’m absolutely horrible at basketball! I’m not joking. Ha!

Zobler goes to Zobüe (“zob-way”)

After our staff meeting Saturday morning, Helen, Hannah, Eden and I headed towards Malawi to spend a weekend with the rest of the Tete crew in Zobue.  Luc and Janet (a married couple of PCVs) live there and had invited us up for a visit.  Since they were lonely up here in Tete before we got here, they were super excited to host us. And by super excited, I mean they had made a Mediterranean feast for lunch that day. Hummus, babbaganush, greek salad, mangos. Incredible.  Also, they have the most adorable house I’ve ever seen! Its like a tiny little African cottage – complete with real furniture and awesome artwork, tiny doors that you have to duck through and a bookshelf full of books. 

Since I was pretty exhausted from the 5am start to the day, I slept through the afternoon downpour and woke up in time to help make dinner. Bean burgers and French fries…not to be outdone by Janet’s carrot cake. SO GOOD.  Things just kept getting better: they had lots of things they wanted to give away (hence how we inherited a potato masher, a muffin tin, a ping pong set – for hotel Moatize of course, some magnetic poetry, gossip magazines, and a kazoo…Helen will likely regret letting me take that). THEN, Janet says they have some extra treats for us.  They stocked up on American candy when they went home for Christmas and made each of us a goodie bag of jelly bellys, candy canes and chocolate bars. ……. Seriously. My favorite people ever.

The next morning, we woke up and ate cinnamon rolls (the woman’s a genius) and had starbucks French press coffee. After that, we set out on a little “hike” up the mountains on the Malawi border.   The airquotes are included because we pulled each other up a few rock faces and we (Hannah and I) crab-walked down the mountain so as not to fall.  “Hike” could also be replaced with “bushwhacking” seeing as the rainy season rapid-growth has taken over the path.  However, we did get a plethora of awesome border rock pictures to make up for it….. and sunburns. I’m wearing sunscreen I swear!

All in all: amazing weekend. Great Tete bonding. Awesome food. Beautiful village. Not as hot as Moatize!

School Shmool

Well. I’m really not sure where to start with this one….sooooo lets see…. The fun stuff started once I got my own group of students to supervise. Honestly, I felt like we needed someone else there to help manage the situation, but my Ped Director (kind of like the vice principal) seemed to think that me and my 30 first year auto mechanics would be justttt fine by ourselves. Ok. That’s cool. Whatever he says… So away we go, off to whack down a field of weeds near the basketball court. I quickly learned a few important things about my little charges: 1. They were thrilled to have the new professora as their leader because 2. They were not in the mood to work and 3. I apparently had zero authority to tell them to do so. Let’s be real, I didn’t want to be standing in a field in the heat of Tete watching these kids do field work either, so I was going pretty easy on them. Something else I realized within minutes is that you can pick out certain kids in a group super easily – and its not usually for good reasons (ie they are the ring leaders of the “cool kids” – keep in mind, it was these kids second day at a new school as the “freshman”, the ones not working AT ALL, or the ones making lots of noise).

So, they’re seeing how long they can sit down without me telling them to stand up – and then there’s a big commotion. They all start yelling and hacking at the ground in the middle of a circle. Then, the one boy I had already pegged as the ring leader comes running toward me with his hoe in the air. And what is balanced on said hoe? Oh but the front half (aka, minus the back half) of a huge lizard they have chopped in two.  When I say huge, I mean this bad boy was probably a good 10 inches long and 3 inches off the ground in his prime – which, needless to say, was not right now. I made a face (obviously) , they thought it was hilarious (obviously) and then I made them take the bloody half ‘o lizard away.  About an hour or so later, we have another similar commotion. Awesome, at least I knew what to expect… Psych. This time my ring leader (his name is Alvero) comes running with some other kids with a rake in the air. This time, they have three feet of a snake on the rake. I say “three feet of a snake” and not “a three foot long snake” because it was sans head. SO I’m not sure how big it actually was BUT the back half that I did see was still very much moving. Ok guys, I get it. I don’t like snakes, you think its funny, take it away. So then we have to spend a good 15 minutes trying to fling the snake over an 8 foot tall fence – yet another good way to procrastinate. Finally we finish our spot of land and I call roll (which, let me tell you, is unbelievable painful due to the names on there) and we go home.

The next day, my mechanics actually requested Professora Carolina – I wasn’t really making them work  AND they were getting a few good laughs out of it- so I guess that’s to be expected.  We head off to a different patch of land and I’m enjoying chatting with the guys. Plus, I’ve picked out who the good workers are and the troublemakers so that I can call them out when I need to.  When we get to our area, I hung my purse up on a tree and planted myself right in the middle of the line of work to pull grass with my hands. Despite the blisters and general heat, I really liked being out there because all of the kinds had random things they wanted to talk to me about (No, I don’t know Arnold Schwartzeneger or Micheal Jackson – sidenote, the news of MJ’s death didn’t make it to Moz, No, Canada is not the United States. Yes, I’ve already finished university and I’m only 22. Yes, you did see me riding to school on a chapa). 

Later that day, there is a “commotion” that was at least double the commotion of the day before. This time there is yelling and tons of people crowd around. Meanwhile, I’m keeping a safe distance knowing that whatever it is they’re killing is about to make its way to my on a hoe. False. I see a boy coming toward me with his arm extended at a 90 degree angle. In his hand, he’s holding the tail of something…..and its head is dragging on the ground. My first instinct: baby crocodile. Mother of God, these kids just killed a baby crocodile. But then I got a better look. No that’s not a crocodile. What is it I ask….its a salamander. Welllll that’s not like any salamander I’ve ever seen! (After discussing it with Luc, another PCV who legit is an encyclopedia, we decided it was closer to a Komodo Dragon). So there we are, circled around this giant, dead lizard – and what’s next on the agenda? Well we should fight about if this is something we can eat, of course! Followed by, lets sell it. And finally, a quick battle over –if the “sell” plan works out- who actually killed the beast and therefore will get the profits.  After about 15 minutes, one of the Padres came over and regained control, sending my little hunters back to work.

And just like that (one snake, two lizards, a wicked sunburn and a nice big infected scrape on my leg), the first week: dunzo 

ADDRESS

Audrey Zoeller, PCV
Corpo da Paz
C.P. 331
Chimoio, Mozambique


its about 6 hours away, but thats as good as its going to get!

back to school, back to school....prove to dad i'm not a fool

thats from billy madison, btw. and ps this is an excessively long-winded account....

First days of school are always funny….not to mention that you usually get a sweet pic on the morning of the first day (at least my brother and I did).  Well, I wasn’t entirely sure that school was starting today. The public schools here in Mozambique were supposed to start today – but since we’re a technical school, we have a different schedule than everyone else. So when one of the Padres stopped by this weekend and told us we had a “meeting” at school on Monday – I started to think maybe this was it! When we asked what time this so-called meeting was, he just told us “morning.”  Awesome, thanks for the details. When we couldn’t get any more information (do we need to bring anything? What should we wear?) we decided we would just show up dressed to teach at 7 am – which is when school normally starts.  We made it out the front door at 6 am…which was the plan. It’s about a 10 minute walk to the main road where the chapas stop.  So we’re strolling along to the main road – munching on a peanut butter sandwich and noticing that everyone here sleeps outside with their mosquito nets strung up on clothsline (I don’t blame them, its much cooler than inside the little ovens we call houses) and then BAM mud puddle. Awesome. I now have mud all over my birkinstocks and my feet. Hellen stopped while I pulled random leaves off of plants along the path to try and wipe off the mud…all in vain. I was just spreading the mud. Ok whatever, I’ll figure it out when we get there. If stepping in a mud puddle is the worst thing that happens today – I’m golden.

We get to the main road and a chapa pulls up right then. Score. Unfortunately the chapa is “full” … and I’m including the quotation marks because there is rarely a chapa whose driver doesn’t think he can actually squeeze a few more people in. He waves us in, and I somehow ended up in an incredibly awkward backwards facing squat where I was sitting on some mans feet and leaning on another ones knees  - all while 18 people are staring right at me. No big, totally normal. We’re on the road! Then I realize that this squat-move I’ve got going on is putting my muddy feet in much closer proximity to, well, my entire body. Nothing I can do about it now…. Also, around this time, I realize  there are a bunch of teenage boys on here with me and that this is most likely their first encounter with the new American teachers they’ve been hearing about. What up kids.

We finally make it to our stop and have another good 10 minute walk to our school. Now I’m seeing the effects to the traveling mud which is all over my legs (Helen points out that the mud really stands out on my white skin….sweet).  Dom Bosco Escola Profesional is – in typical Mozambican fashion – running a few minutes late for this morning meeting, so I had some time to work on the mud situation. All of the students were lined up waiting for the assembly to start when Padre Pedro (the director of the school) started speaking. He talked a little about the school year and how we are going to work on punctuality (….) and whatnot. And that we’re here today to clean the school ground and meet the American teachers. We gave a quick introduction and they sent us off with the first year students to do some “work.”

Apparently, this meant that we were going to weed the entire school grounds….which were covered in thick grass up to my waist. Clearly, this is why every student came prepared with his own hoe. Why wouldn’t you show up the first day of 8^th grade with a hoe? Anyways, I got stuck with the first year welding students and led off to a patch of land.  They lined up and got to working, clearing all the grass and weeds. I asked if I could help and they gave me a little row with weed with my hands.  Thank God the kid next to me knew that I wasn’t sure what I was doing and stopped me from pulling out some bushes (that were there on purpose) or grabbing onto thorny plants (which I inevitably did anyways a few minutes later).  Then they told me we HAD to do this because there are just too many snakes out here with the grass like this.  Cool, I love snakes…..absolutely not I’m terrified of snakes. After about thirty minutes we were all good and sweaty but making some good progress. About this time I started to get a lot “Teacher go to the shadows”…. Meaning they wanted me to stop working and go stand my little white-self in the shade.  Which I did. And had lots of time to chat with one of the civil construction professors who is a super cool guy. I’d go back and work for as long as I thought I could get away with before they told be to return to the “shadows”. 

After we had cleared our patch of land, and called roll again, I got a big “teacher you are free. See you tomorrow”  (sidenote, people really want to learn English and will talk to me in English even if I ask them to speak Portuguese so I can practice….so then I just stand my ground and speak Portuguese back to their English. It seems to work actually).   Apparently for the next 2 weeks, we’re just weeding and cleaning the school.  So Helen and I did the 40 minute trek home in the heat of the day (sweet tan lines), rewarded ourselves with a cold coke and some Jenny cookies and then promptly passed out in our beds.

And there you have it kids. First day of school, Mozambican edition. I’ll keep you posted on when school (classes) actually start.